Stacy and I got to talking about Santana being totally unfazed by her new roommates, and also Kurt being well hung, and then this all happened.
Among all the chaos that Santana’s arrival caused, the worst had to be the interruption to Kurt’s bathroom schedule. Brody, obnoxious as he could be, was a mere speed bump on the roommate road that Kurt and Rachel had smoothly paved. He usually showered after a morning at the gym, and, after a few gentle comments, remembered the air freshener when he used their bathroom for certain other tasks.
(All right, Kurt had stood behind the couch and pressed down on the dispenser until both Brody and Rachel fled the loft, coughing, but his point was made.)
Beyond that, their typical mornings had been simple:
6:30 AM: End his shower, plug in Rachel’s hot rollers.
6:35 AM: Finish an initial round of blow-drying his hair while bent half-over. Stand up. Feel the blood return to his feet. Vacate the bathroom and start breakfast.
6:45 AM: Hand Rachel, fully decked out in hot rollers, her breakfast as the two of them chat about the day to come.
6:57 AM: Return to the bathroom and attack his hair with six types of product to maintain the volume that upside-down drying had given it.
7:10 AM: Choose an outfit as Rachel starts the next stage of styling her hair.
7:45 AM: Realize that the eternal debate between ‘personal style’ versus ‘locational appropriateness’ balanced with ‘seasonal trends’ has gone on for more than half an hour, again, and yell for Rachel to hurry up with her hair. (She has so much hair.) Pull on outfit number one or two. Hang up outfits three, four, and five. Neatly.
7:50 AM: Tell Rachel yet again that if she’s not in her latest black outfit in ONE MINUTE, that he is leaving without her.
7:54 AM: He means it!
7:59 AM: Kurt and Rachel, out the door and ready to tackle the world!
And then: Santana Lopez.
Originally from winter isn't cold for a person with no feelings